Resources

by James Nestor

Nestor makes the case that the tool for staying calm and clear-headed is one you already have: your breath. Learning to use breath well is a simple, practical way to care for yourself while you're navigating some of the hardest decisions of your life. The proper use of breath can regulate the nervous system and make you a better participant in the divorce process.

by Amishi P. Jha

Neuropsychologist Amishi Jha built her research on training attention under real pressure, including work with the US military. The same techniques that help someone stay focused in high-stakes, high-stress situations translate directly to the clear-thinking divorce demands. Dr. Jha expands on the concept of slow being smooth and smooth being fast, which has direct applicability to divorce.

by Michael Pollan

Pollan's exploration of consciousness doesn’t directly address divorce, but the underlying questions are relevant to anyone navigating a major life transition: how much of what we assume about a situation, or a person, is real, and how much we're constructing. A good read if you want to understand your own mind while you're using it to make hard decisions. Pollan writes in a friendly, accessible way while citing credible authorities along the way.

by James J. Sexton

Written by a divorce lawyer who has handled thousands of cases, this book looks at the small, ordinary patterns that quietly erode marriages long before they end. If you're still discerning whether divorce is the right path, this can be a useful mirror. If you've already decided, it can offer some clarity on what happened and why. James Sexton is a creative and talented divorce lawyer worth reading or listening to on Huberman Labs.

by Daniel Kahneman

Daniel Kahneman, a psychologist, won the 2002 Nobel Prize in Economics for the work in this book on human decision-making, prospect theory, and cognitive biases. The emphasis on quality decision-making throughout Insight Divorce Coach is drawn primarily from our understanding of Dr. Kahneman's work.

by Daniel Kahneman, Olivier Sibony, Cass R. Sunstein

A second book by Daniel Kahneman, Oliver Sibony and Cass R. Sunstein begins with a study of noise in the judicial system. This is critical reading for anyone considering the use of a judicial system to determine how the relationships and possessions you most value will be addressed and distributed.

by Jim Dethmer, Diana Chapman, and Kaley Klemp

The commitments explored in this book can be used to turn divorce into an experience of personal growth. The first two, responsibility for self-care and staying curious, are essential. When emotions run high, reacting is easier than responding. This book offers a framework for choosing the second. Read all 15 commitments on their website to get a sense of whether this book might be right for you.

by Belle Burden

A memoir about a marriage that ended without warning after twenty years, and one woman's process of making sense of it afterward. If you have been blindsided, or you're navigating the disorientation of a long marriage ending, especially later in life, you aren’t alone. Belle Burden explores her own heartbreak with candor and the way back to reclaiming a true sense of self, power, and joy.