Resources
Divorce brings a wave of decisions at a time when you may feel like you have the least capacity to make them. We've gathered these resources to help you meet that moment: to think clearly, gather what you need, and find your way through with a little more ease.
Divorce is commonly seen as only a loss. We built this course and gathered these resources around a different belief: that with the right preparation and mindset, this transition can also be an opportunity to grow.
You already have what it takes to navigate this. These resources are here to support you, not replace your own judgment.
Read Our Latest Series on Mindfulness and Decision-Making During Divorce
Podcasts:
Featuring Jim Siemens
Tara Brach Podcasts
Tara Brach is a psychologist and proponent of meditation. Her podcast includes talks and guided meditations. She has coined the acronym RAIN, which stands for recognize, allow, investigate, nurture; a healing process ideal for those in the divorce process. Tara's compassion and wisdom are freely shared, remarkable, and directly applicable.
Being Well with Forrest Hanson & Dr. Rick Hanson
Dr. Rick Hanson and his son, Forrest, explore the challenging parts of being human. You can explore this podcast by topic and find episodes on achieving goals, dealing with difficult people, and effective communication, among many other topics relevant to the divorce process. Dr. Hanson has been a therapist for 45 years; his published work on happiness is grounded, and his experience shines through in these talks with his son.
Huberman Lab with Andrew Huberman, Ph.D.
Huberman Lab podcast is regularly ranked as the No. 1 health podcast in the world. You can browse the podcast by topic and find episodes on sleep hygiene, emotional intelligence and relationships, happiness and well-being, and many other topics worth exploring and useful in the divorce process.
Good Reads
-
![Breath by James Nestor]()
Breath: The New Science of a Lost Art
by James Nestor
Nestor makes the case that the tool for staying calm and clear-headed is one you already have: your breath. Learning to use breath well is a simple, practical way to care for yourself while you're navigating some of the hardest decisions of your life. The proper use of breath can regulate the nervous system and make you a better participant in the divorce process.
-
![Peak Mind by Amishi P Jha]()
Peak Mind: Achieve Peak Mindfulness and Unlock Your Full Potential
by Amishi P. Jha
Neuropsychologist Amishi Jha built her research on training attention under real pressure, including work with the US military. The same techniques that help someone stay focused in high-stakes, high-stress situations translate directly to the clear-thinking divorce demands. Dr. Jha expands on the concept of slow being smooth and smooth being fast, which has direct applicability to divorce.
-
![A World Appears by Michael Pollan]()
A World Appears
by Michael Pollan
Pollan's exploration of consciousness doesn’t directly address divorce, but the underlying questions are relevant to anyone navigating a major life transition: how much of what we assume about a situation, or a person, is real, and how much we're constructing. A good read if you want to understand your own mind while you're using it to make hard decisions. Pollan writes in a friendly, accessible way while citing credible authorities along the way.
-
![How Not to F Up Your Marriage by James J. Sexton]()
How Not to F*ck Up Your Marriage
by James J. Sexton
Written by a divorce lawyer who has handled thousands of cases, this book looks at the small, ordinary patterns that quietly erode marriages long before they end. If you're still discerning whether divorce is the right path, this can be a useful mirror. If you've already decided, it can offer some clarity on what happened and why. James Sexton is a creative and talented divorce lawyer worth reading or listening to on Huberman Labs.
-
![]()
15 Commitments of Conscious Leadership
by Jim Dethmer, Diana Chapman, and Kaley Klemp
The commitments explored in this book can be used to turn divorce into an experience of personal growth. The first two, responsibility for self-care and staying curious, are essential. When emotions run high, reacting is easier than responding. This book offers a framework for choosing the second. Read all 15 commitments on their website to get a sense of whether this book might be right for you.
-
![Strangers by Belle Burden]()
Strangers: A Memoir of Marriage
by Belle Burden
A memoir about a marriage that ended without warning after twenty years, and one woman's process of making sense of it afterward. If you have been blindsided, or you're navigating the disorientation of a long marriage ending, especially later in life, you aren’t alone. Belle Burden explores her own heartbreak with candor and the way back to reclaiming a true sense of self, power, and joy.
Tools & Apps
-
![Person holding cell phone with Positive Intelligence Programs shown on the screen.]()
Positive Intelligence Programs
Shirzad Chamine's work is built around a simple idea: there is a clear, sage voice in your mind, and there are saboteur voices trying to drown it out. He likens mental fitness to physical fitness and encourages developing the sage mind. His book, Positive Intelligence, explores his learning and theory. His app is a mindfulness tool for busy people that can be used in a self-directed way or with the help of a coach.
-
![Person holding cell phone with BreathPacer App shown on the screen.]()
BreathPacer App
A guided breathing app built to shift your nervous system out of fight-or-flight and into a calmer, more regulated state. Useful anytime, and especially useful before a hard conversation or a stressful appointment. Using this app is an easy way into box breathing, which you can use to develop distress tolerance, a handy resource when heading into hard things like testimony and high-stakes decisions.
-
![Laptop with Enneagram Personality Test on the screen]()
Enneagram Personality Test
This free test from Truity can help you understand your own default patterns: how you tend to react under stress, what you need to feel secure, and where you get stuck. That kind of self-awareness is useful anywhere, and especially useful as you work on regaining an accurate sense of self. The Enneagram may be the world’s oldest personality metric. It’s a fun place to start on a journey of rebuilding your sense of self.
-
![]()
Waking Up App
Sam Harris's app teaches the fundamentals of mindfulness and takes you further if you want to go there. A steady meditation practice is one of the more reliable ways we've seen people stay grounded while they're in the middle of a hard transition. Beyond Sam’s guided mediations are a world of talks, courses, and resources to explore.
Articles From Our Team:
Looking for a Place to Start?
These resources are meant to support you wherever you are. If you're looking for something more structured, the Divorce First Aid Toolkit brings over 30 years of family law experience into one self-paced course: 12 video lessons across 4 modules that cover the practical and emotional sides of divorce, whether you're certain about filing or still thinking it through.